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More from ~ilovekakashi28

What are the Chances...                                                What are the chances...

That this food is actually poisoned,

That I'll die in my sleep tonight,

That I'll have a heart attack,

That I'll hurt someone,

That everyone hates me,

That everything is a conspiracy,

That my parents would try to kill me,

If anything is possible then what are the chances that my biggest fears will come true?
Secret Shame.I love food. I love it more than anyone should.  
It is my addiction. I would be content with just eating all day and doing nothing else.
I am literally surrendering my life to food. And I don't care.
Call it fake, say its bad.
I love food, and it loves me back. Thats all I care about.

Then why does eating more make me feel empty and ashamed, instead of filling the void I'm so desperately trying to fill?
That Time again...Its one of those times again...everything takes effort. Sleep is restless. Food tastes bad. Life seems pointless and I can't look anyone in the eye. Too afraid they'll see me for the monster I am right now.  I'm isolating, avoiding, obsessing...again.  With no hope of rescue. Anxiety drives me...leading me to a dark place I've been before. But this time feels different, like either I live or I die. All or nothing. How much of the outcome is my choice? How much is out of my control?

I've never been this repulsed by myself...with no one to reassure me of my true self I really am hopeless.

It takes more courage then I posses to do what I need
My Anxiety...
To me there is "safe" anxiety and anxiety I don't understand.

I've always been told that I have a great sense of awareness and self awareness.... Which is quite honestly a nuisance most times. I become so confident in my ability to judge myself, judge my symptoms, react appropriately etc...that when something comes along that I wasn't expecting, something I'm not used to...I can't think properly, It becomes impossible to distract myself. My entire list of carefully planned rituals becomes useless. Years I spent building working towards creating coping mechanisms that weren't self harming.....pointless.

I don't even know which disorder is ca

Featured in Groups:

:iconmental-illnessclub: #Mental-IllnessClub
Keep Hope Alive :iconshatterthestigma: #ShatterTheStigma
Illness does not discriminate :icontheocdsociety: #theOCDsociety
Obsessive-Compulsive Deviants. :iconwe-are-survivors: #we-are-survivors
The secret behnd closed doors :iconmultiples-of-da: #Multiples-of-DA
 :iconanxiety-disorders: #Anxiety-Disorders
 :iconmental-illnesses: #Mental-Illnesses
Let's talk :iconblackdog-ballistics: #Blackdog-Ballistics

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August 1, 2010
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Comments: 15
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:iconilovekakashi28:
I made this poster to kinda summarize "Keep Hope Alive" and what's going to be going on at :iconmental-illnessclub: during that week.

I've never made a poster or used any templates for anything before, so I hope this didn't turn out too badly. ^^;

If anybody has any questions about "Keep Hope Alive" or the group please feel free to send me a note or message. :heart:

oh and the butterfly on the poster is clip art :giggle: so credits to microsoft! oh and I did try to use the groups icons colors on the poster. ^^
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:iconharlan-heuker:
Mood: Love *harlan-heuker Aug 16, 2012
keep hope alive,you are courageous,that's why,harlan
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:iconwoodfaery:
*woodfaery Aug 8, 2010
Featured! [link]
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:iconilovekakashi28:
~ilovekakashi28 Aug 8, 2010
:aww: Thank you! :rose:
Reply
:iconofthewoodsstudio:
=OfTheWoodsStudio Aug 4, 2010
nice ME LIKE :D good job
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:iconilovekakashi28:
~ilovekakashi28 Aug 4, 2010
Thank you! :glomp:
Reply
:iconearwig20:
=earwig20 Aug 3, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
Hope everyone supports this.
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:iconilovekakashi28:
~ilovekakashi28 Aug 4, 2010
me too. :aww: Thanks for your support! :heart:
Reply
:iconartloverbam2012:
*ArtLoverBam2012 Aug 1, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Wonderful poster! The real deal. :D
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:iconilovekakashi28:
~ilovekakashi28 Aug 1, 2010
Thank you! :hug:
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:iconartloverbam2012:
*ArtLoverBam2012 Aug 4, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome. :huggle:
Reply
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